After all these years

Me at 2. My three favorite cousins, Adrian, Eduardo and Jose Luis.

When I was a kid, I had 4 favorite men in my life. I'm not counting my father. My cousins Eduardo, Adrian and Ozzie from my dad's side of the family and Jose Luis from my mother's. Since they all are older than myself, the would tend to pamper me.

As I grew older, the only two cousins I was closer to were Eduardo and Jose Luis. Eduardo was more like a mentor and support to me. He would give me advice on how to deal with my dad. He helped me make my career selection. He taught me the few things I know about computer software.

One day, my dad comes home upset. He breaks the news. Eduardo had cancer. It broke me apart. My complete world began to shatter. I tried to remain close to him. Even if he got upset.
He passed on six months later.

My recovery began there. I haven't been able to let go completely. Even though this year I forgot about the anniversary. On Valentine's day, I bumped into a friend of mine that still works for Eduardo's company.

We cought up on old times. He insists that I haven't changed. Even though I've matured a bit and grown up, I'm still the kid he met. Before we bade farewell, he hugged me. At that moment he said "Eduardo would be so proud of you".

It broke me into tears. After all these years after his death, the thought of being able to make him proud affects me. It makes me remember that there was a real meaining in becoming as hardworking as I am.

No matter how many years have passed, his abscence is notorious. Having lost him made me colder and a bit more objective. Sometimes I wish I was still a kid and I could simply run over to him and hug him.

Sometimes I wish life had given him a second chance.