Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Yes I hate to admit it. It's that time of day when the phone used to ring and I would sit back, relax and prepare for a fight.Right now, I'm fighting with a report, kinda sleepy and wishing the phone would ring so I can tell you how much I'm upset because of you.
But that won't happen. It's funny, that you take people and details for granted. Suddenly, days, months or years later you come to realize how much that in particular made your day or made life more bearable. Who would have thought that I would miss you? No one raised a hand or a fin. It felt so terribly empty to walk into Iliana's old office and not find traces of either of you.
Honestly, I have no clue where I'm getting strength from. It's amazing how bad I can feel and force myself to pull through. Right now, I realize how right you were when you said I was your best friend; not because I want to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread, but because I now realize I think the same way about you. Life is so full of irony. It annoys me that I'm trying to write something and I'm all teary eyed. I should really stop being such a big cry baby. It's so silly, because you haven't left the continent, you haven't even crossed the state! Knowing that, I am still a puddle of tears.
Withdrawl is pretty hard, Iliana was totally right. I can become easily addicted to something. In this case, I became addicted to the "quality" time (please!!!) we would spend daily fighting, ranting or doing reports (how pathertic were we?!?!?).
There, thats my rant.
I miss you.
I said it.