Sunday, June 11, 2006
Ron, you ruined everything
A couple of days back, I wrote a comparison of my love life or something of the sort with someone dubbed Ron Weasley. I was looking at my Potter calendar and they are both strikingly similar in looks. Even though, that's not what matters. The book version of Hermione has put up for 6 years with Ronald's stupidity. The real Hermione is fed up with it.
I met you in the best moment of my life. It was when I was going through a very dark and lonely stage. I needed someone to help me survive the emotional burden that I had. That was when I found you. Even though we were in the same house, it was after some ice breaker activity that we began to talk. That and the fact that you threw a plush fish to my face.
Music, books, movies, life experiences were some of the things we had in common. We easily got along. Soon enough we would be hanging out after class. We would go anywhere, movies, lunch as long as we would have fun.
That lasted for a while, and suddenly I began to feel something for you. I think you also felt something at some point. Don't know what specifically, but there was something. It was that chemestry, sharing secrets, projects, ideals, goals and dreams, and saying stupid things that would come to mind.
I made the huge mistake of telling you what I felt. Don't know if I scared you or if you were disappointed that a girl took the iniciative. Between my desception and sadness, I became involved with Krum, who was older than I was.
While I was with him, I tried to patch up our friendship bond. I saw you fall in love with Lavander. Even when it killed me, i was with someone else and as your friend I had to support you.
Your relationship never became real and mine fell apart. We were alone again. Harry and Ginny tried to get us to go out as doubles, it always included activities that I don't enjoy. Parties and alcohol don't work with me, you know that.
We clumsily tried to restart something that was broken by different circumstances. Your fear and my depression were possibly main factors. There were moments where I felt you close, I was almost sure that we would stop the nonsense and say something. Shame it was a future that never happened.
Lately, your immaturity, your irresponsability and your desire to break rules have shined stronger. I don't understand you. You know I loathe that. To top that off, when you get mad the first one that you explode with is with me. You're fine with everyone else . If you hurt those you love most, please don't love me. It upsets me that you're perfectly fine with everyone else, but me.
Thank you for being there in those moments of darkness, when I needed your support. I'll never forget that. Thank you for the times you made me laugh, cry and create different things. Thank you for sharing the important events with me. Thank you for trying to understand me.
After two years of loving you and wanting to live part of my life with you: Ron you ruined everything. It was your attitude that spoiled everything. I was always your last choice as a partner. Alcohol and drugs were always before me. I can't compete with that.