Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have i become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
Hurt - NIN
Yup, I'm in pain. A twisted combination of physical and emotional pain. Physically, I have these cramps that should be banned from the universe. I really refuse to believe that I have to go through this every month. Sometimes I remember why I dreaded being thinner. Cramps get worse. Of course, looking gorgeous in pictures has a price tag on it. Aside from having to buy tons of new clothes and accesories; I have to endure the pain, horror and agony of monthly cramps.

Emotionally speaking, I've had better days. I've come to realize that I'm possibly not made to have a relationship. It's like everytime I find someone that's worth fighting for, he doesn't think the same way. I don't know. I'm a natural fighter. Sure, I get scared when things don't turn out like I planned. I guess that's the beauty of things, facing them upfront.

I've grown tired of being the one that has to bring the others up. I want someone to lean on, someone that will be there when I need to cry, someone that will have his arms open when I desperately need a hug. I urgently need someone that can support me, just as I can support him.

I guess this week will be full of ramblings. Afterall, I'm on my period and heartbroken. Wicked combination. I could do just about anything, from getting suicidal or simply cry myself a river.

Darling angel, don't doubt that I love you.
This Thursday my final speech will be dedicated to you.

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